Digital Bullying
There used to be a moment when the school day ended and they could go home.
That moment no longer exists.
What Is Digital Bullying?
Digital bullying, also called cyberbullying, is the use of technology, social media, messaging platforms, and online spaces to intimidate, harass, humiliate, exclude, or harm another person.
It happens on phones. On gaming platforms. On social media apps. In group chats. In the comment sections of posts. In direct messages nobody else can see.
What makes it different from all other forms of bullying is this:
It follows the child home.
There is no bell at the end of the school day that signals safety. No moment of relief at the front door. The bullying is there when they wake up and there when they go to sleep in the device they carry everywhere, in the notifications they are afraid to open, in the silence of a group chat they used to be in.
A national study by Florida Atlantic University found that nearly 9 in 10 teenagers, 87 percent, experienced at least one form of cyberbullying. Researchers concluded that cyberbullying should be classified as an adverse childhood experience , a category of trauma linked to long-term emotional, psychological, and physical harm. (FAU / ScienceDaily, 2026)
EXCLUSION FROM GROUP CHATS
Being deliberately removed from or never added to a group text or chat. This is the digital version of not being allowed to sit at the table except it happens at home, at night, and the evidence of the exclusion shows up as silence. The phone does not buzz. No one is texting them. And they know why.
According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, 20 percent of students reported being deliberately excluded from a group text or chat in the past 30 days alone.
The Forms of Digital Bullying
IMPERSONATION
Creating a fake account using someone's photos, name, or identity to post embarrassing, cruel, or harmful content. The target gets the social consequences of something they never said or did.
RUMOR SPREADING ONLINE
Using social media to spread information, true or false, about someone. A rumor travels faster online than it ever could in a hallway. It reaches people who do not even go to the same school. It cannot be contained once it is out.
MEAN COMMENTS AND PUBLIC HUMILIATION
Posting cruel comments on someone's photos. Writing things on their page that are designed to embarrass or demean. Creating posts that reference someone without tagging them so they see it but cannot respond without confirming they were watching.
SCREENSHOTS AND PRIVATE MESSAGES SHARED PUBLICLY
Taking a private conversation, a private photo, or a private moment and sharing it without consent. The violation of trust compounds the public humiliation.
DELIBERATE ONLINE SILENCE
Following someone but never engaging. Watching their posts but never responding. Being present and visible and choosing, publicly, to ignore them. Digital shunning.
READ RECEIPTS AS A WEAPON
Leaving a message on read deliberately as a way of communicating status. "I saw your message. I chose not to respond." In a group context, this can be coordinated, multiple people leaving someone on read at the same time to send a message.
Why Digital Bullying Is Its Own Category
It never stops. Traditional bullying has geography. It happens at school, on the bus, in specific places and times. Digital bullying has no geography. It is everywhere. All the time.
It has an audience. Online cruelty happens in front of an audience that can screenshot, share, comment, and amplify. The humiliation is not limited to the people who witnessed it. It is potentially unlimited.
The bully has distance and anonymity. There is no immediate consequence of looking someone in the eye. No social risk of bystanders stepping in. The screen creates a distance that makes it easier to do things a person might never do in person.
It is permanent. Things said in a hallway fade. Things posted online can be screenshotted, saved, and shared indefinitely. A moment of cruelty can follow a child for years.
It is covert. Parents often cannot see it. It happens in private group chats, in DMs, in apps that auto-delete. The evidence disappears faster than anyone can document it.
More than 60 percent of students who encountered cyberbullying reported that it significantly impacted their learning and sense of safety at school. (Cyberbullying Research Center)
What the Research Tells Us
58 percent of students between the ages of 13 and 17 in the United States have experienced cyberbullying in their lifetime. (Cyberbullying Research Center, 2025)
Among tweens aged 9 to 12, group chat exclusion was the second most common form of cyberbullying reported, affecting 28.9 percent. (PACER Center)
More than half of students reported being deliberately excluded from group chats or texts. (FAU National Study, 2026)
Adolescents who are targeted via cyberbullying report increased depressive affect, anxiety, loneliness, and suicidal behavior. (PMC, 2014)
The more frequently a student was targeted, the more trauma symptoms they showed — regardless of gender or age. (FAU, 2026)
10 percent of students admitted to skipping school at least once in the past year due to cyberbullying. (Cyberbullying Research Center)
77.5 percent of school students reported experiencing negative or hurtful online posts about themselves. (Statista)
Cyberbullying should be classified as an adverse childhood experience — a category of trauma linked to long-term harm. (FAU, 2026)
What Parents Miss About Digital Bullying
Most parents think of cyberbullying as direct threats and hateful messages. Those happen. But they are not the most common form.
The most common forms are quieter.
A group chat they were removed from. A post they were not tagged in but that was clearly about them. A photo shared without their permission. Silence from people who used to respond.
Your child may not tell you. Not because they are hiding something but because:
They do not think you will understand the dynamics of the apps and platforms. They are embarrassed. They are afraid you will take their phone away which feels like punishment on top of pain. They have come to accept it as normal. Almost 90 percent of teens experience some form of it. It can start to feel like just part of being online.
Signs to watch for:
They seem upset, anxious, or withdrawn after being on their phone. They put their phone down quickly when you walk in the room. They have stopped using a social platform they used to use constantly. They are reluctant to go to school after something happened online. They have become secretive about who they are talking to. They seem to be monitoring others' social lives rather than participating in one.
What Parents Can Do
Keep communication open not surveillance. The goal is not to read every message. The goal is to make sure your child knows they can come to you when something happens without fear of losing access to their phone.
Create a standing check-in. Not an interrogation. A casual, regular moment. "Anything weird happen online this week?" Said routinely, it becomes a door that is always open.
Know the platforms. You do not need to be an expert. You need to know enough to understand what your child is describing. Snapchat. Instagram. Discord. TikTok. BeReal. The group chat landscape changes. Stay curious.
If something happened document it first. Before anything is deleted or disappears, take screenshots. Then report it to the platform. Then, if it warrants it, to the school.
Talk to the school. Even if the bullying happened off campus, if it is affecting your child at school, their ability to learn, their safety, their sense of belonging. The school has both the responsibility and often the authority to address it.
Teach them they are not alone. And that what is happening to them online does not define who they are.
If This Is Happening to You Online
First , what is happening to you is real. Even if there is no physical mark. Even if nobody called you a name directly. Even if you cannot prove it.
Being removed from a group chat is real. Being left on read deliberately is real. Being talked about in a group you are not in is real. Having something shared about you without your permission is real.
Here is what you should do:
Do not respond in the moment. Responding to online cruelty rarely makes it better and often makes it worse. Step away from the device first.
Screenshot everything before it disappears. Even if you do not know yet whether you want to do anything with it, document it.
Tell an adult. A parent. A counselor. A trusted teacher. You do not have to have it all figured out first. Just tell someone.
You are allowed to block. Blocking someone who is hurting you online is not weakness. It is protecting yourself.
Report it to the platform. Every major platform has a reporting feature. Use it.
And know this: What someone posts about you online is not who you are. The screen between you and the person hurting you is real but it is also between them and your worth, and they cannot touch that.
Digital bullying is real. The space it creates is real. And it can be closed by one person choosing to do something different.
SOURCES USED
Florida Atlantic University / ScienceDaily (2026) — Cyberbullying classified as adverse childhood experience.
Cyberbullying Research Center (2025) — Annual cyberbullying data PACER Center
Tween cyberbullying statistics Springer Nature (2022, 2025) — Relational bullying and social exclusion research
ScienceDirect (2009) — Relational bullying consequences study.
PMC / NCBI (2014, 2025) — Cyberbullying and mental health; social exclusion review .
Tandfonline (2020, 2025) - Bullying and mental health outcomes.
Firefly Therapy Austin (2023) — Social exclusion in adolescents.
StopBullying.gov — Relational bullying definitions.
Rachel Simmons — Odd Girl Out (relational bullying research)
Salmivalli et al. (2021) — Peer victimization and mental health.
United Nations — Global bullying prevalence data .
Statista — Cyberbullying statistics.
Psychology Today — Relational bullying in schools.
Scholastic / Child Development Research — Social aggression and gender.